An interesting observation

Had dinner with R last night, she is so good for the soul! :) I'm really glad we have kept close through all this. I started to tell her about a person (newly separated: I must be a magnet for them!) who asked me if I knew how one would go about hooking up for casual sex. I then mused aloud that I had thought that I would be the one looking for that when I became single with my own place. And yet, it hadn't happened. And I'm so not interested in that. R said to me "well, you've known great love" which I was surprised to hear her say, although I'm not sure why. Yes, I have known great love, more than once, and I'm unwilling to settle for a cheap substitute. It felt good to think of it in those terms.

I have known great love. Yes.

Yesterday I was walking to BART and feeling a little lonely. This is the time where I usually start wondering how long it will be before I am with someone new, or thinking that I should start hitting the personal ads. But this time, a little voice said "You better enjoy this time you have to yourself, your own projects, because when you meet someone new, you will look back and marvel at the time you had." And that made me smile. I am enjoying this time. Not exactly liminal, because I feel I've passed through the threshold. My last therapy appointment, I pulled a card with a pregnant woman on it. That's how I feel now, like I'm gestating my future. And I feel pretty content about it.

And besides, as R said, I've proven again and again that I have no trouble finding someone when I put my mind to it ;) She thinks I won't be on the market for long.

She's probably right.