i love portishead

Someone new is following me on twitter. That person has a Portishead video which started playing when I went to their site.

watch the video

We suffer everyday, what is it for
These crowns of illusion, are fooling us all
And now I am weary and I feel like I do

It's only you, who can tear me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart

The size of our fight, it's just a dream
We've crushed everything I can see, in this morning selfishly
How we've failed and I feel like I do

It's only you, who can tear me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart

Now that we've chosen to take all we can
The shade of autumn, a stale bitter end
Years of frustration lay down side by side

And it's only you, who can tear me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart
It's only you, who can tear me apart
And it's only you, who can turn my wooden heart

solstice 2008

I got up before dawn (which is easy to do in winter) and drove to SF to watch the sun rise. As I drove across the bridge, I felt a smile emerge. It's good to be up early!

iTunes obliged with several songs around dawn/day/light/:

Beautiful Dawn by the Wailing Jennys (video)
Today by Talk Talk (video)
Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park (video)
Persistance of Memory by Afro Celt Soundsystem (video)
Half-Life by Duncan Sheik (video)
Ya Viene El Sol by Ozomatli (video)



I arrived in SF and pulled over on the Embarcadero at 722 am, exactly when the sunrise was supposed to occur. I walked out on the pier next to Red's Java House, and saw that the cloud bank to the south was obscuring the dawn. Would the sun emerge in time for me to see it?

I sat at the end of the pier and thought about those early Pagans who would await the sun on the solstice. I thought about the darkness in my life over the past couple years. I decided I was ready for the light to come back to me.

The sun rose, shining brighter than I ever remember. It made me happy. I turned, and headed back to my car to drive to work.

Its a new day. I am ready. And the light has returned.

my son's grasp on the english language...

So here is how my conversation with Sky went this morning:

sky: "that hurt my weiner"
me: "you know the right word for it, right?"
sky: "yeah... penis... just like an(us)... asshole"
me: "skyler are you supposed to be using that language?"
sky: "well i didnt call YOU an asshole!"

at this point, I had to cover my face and mouth with my hands to keep him from hearing/seeing me laugh.

i found out later that he learned that word at his dad's house. whew!

music: alt 80s tribute night

I saw Japanese Baby (Cure tribute band) and Reptile House (Sisters of Mercy tribute band) at the Stork Club last night with my friend and music partner, Rip Reed. It was super fun; I would definitely see them again. Also kicked butt on the one game of pool I played (yeah! still got it! ;)

Here are some clips from the show:

Japanese Baby #1
Japanese Baby #2
Japanese Baby #3
Japanese Baby #4

Reptile House #1
Reptile House #2

Find out more:
Japanese Baby myspace page
Reptile House myspace page

nightmare

i'm walking along the side of the freeway. and part of me realizes that this is a very odd thing. i mean, how did i get here? i would never do this. cars are going past me, very very close. one car is almost hits me; its is full of these angry men, thugs. they stop the car, come after me with baseball bats. they are going to hurt me.

i run, down the freeway off-ramp (it was so close, why didn't i get off before?) I am barely ahead of them, but then i turn a corner, go into this little cul de sac. i'm sobbing "they are going to kill me!" and this nice older man and his wife take me inside their house. all of a sudden i am transformed. they will not recognize you now, he assures me. but i think to myself "i havent changed enough".

there is something about this place that makes me never want to leave. my car magically pulls into the driveway of a house near the nice couple's. next to the car port there is another open area with a roof. on top of the roof is a tent, which i see through a hole in the roof. it is raining and rain is pouring through the hole. but the tent is just open, i think. i could close it, and it would be pretty cozy up there.

the walls of the room downstairs become insulated. its the house working its magic. or maybe its just me, making this into my very own sanctuary. i have a much younger sister, suddenly, and she wants to stay. "ive never had a real mom and dad!" the nice older couple hug us as if we are their long lost daughters. we decide to go for a picnic. nothing could go wrong.

we step outside the house, and i look next door. there are the men. they live here, and one of them, who is mute, has recognized me. he grunts wildly, getting the attention of his gang members. i run to my new family, hoping against all odds that the rest of them dont see me.

but they do, and i hear them running behind me. this time they WILL kill me. i am running over grassy knolls, sobbing "they found me!" my new found father figure stops, turns, prepares to meet them head on. I know in an instant what he means to do. He will assume my likeness, and they willl beat him to death. "NO!" i try to yell, but it comes out a whisper. they are getting closer, i cannot do anything.

and then i wake up

passing on my love of music to my son

I've been wanting to get Sky into some musical lessons for the last year or so. Now I finally have the brain power to think about this and get it in our schedule. He initially wanted to play guitar, and I'm wondering if that is too advanced for him (he is 6). I want to foster a life-long love of music in him, and I don't want to frustrate him early on.

I read this article which seemed to present a lot of different opinions, good perspectives:
http://ask.metafilter.com/89630/Help-me-pick-the-best-first-instrument-for-a-very-small-6-year-old

Looks like my options are:
1. kid's size guitar (hopefully good enough quality to keep for a while)
2. ukulele (same tuning, smaller, easier to play)

I just bought a mandolin (why? it was a deal, and I'm sure I'll find some use for it). I could get him on that, but apparently it is tuned like a violin, which I don't know if it would be confusing or not.

I have a keyboard at home as well, which is another option. I think what I am going to do is dedicate some time to play around on different instruments and see which one he is more inclined to pick up. I welcome any thoughts on this!

You Wouldn't Like Me

Listening to a coworker's iTunes album, doing mindless work. This song made me smile:

You Wouldn't Like Me
by Tegan and Sara

There's a war inside of me
Do I cause new heartbreak and write
A new broken song?
Do I push it down?
Or let it run me right into the ground?

Oh I, I feel like
I wouldn't like me if I met me

Well I can't stop talking for fear
Of listening to unwelcome sound
And you haven't called me in weeks and
Honestly, it's bringing me down

Oh, I, I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
I, I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me

And don't you worry, there's still time
Don’t you worry, there’s still time

There’s nothing to live for
When I'm sleeping alone
And I wash the windows outside in
Hopes that the glare will bring you around

I, I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
I, I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me

So you don’t you worry there’s still time
Don’t you worry there’s still time
So you don’t you worry there’s still time
Don’t you worry there’s still time
So you don’t you worry there’s still time
Don’t you worry there’s still time

Sunshine is days away
I won't be saved, I know all the words
I can't say that I'll love you forever
Sunshine is days away
I won't be saved, I know all the words
I won't say that I'll love you forever